How to get a boyfriend
0 to 100 real quick
fun-size candy bars aren’t fun after you’ve eaten 37 of them
MY TYPE OF FUCKING PARTY
TURNT THE FUCK UP
white people when they drop something: ah fiddlesticks
white people when they win a board game: hooty hoo!!!
Playboy’s catcall flowchart.
I’m reblogging Playboy. Somebody stop me.
The only acceptable birthday cake
Nothing says “celebrate a year of not dying” like blowing out the flame on a salamander that will die without its fire.
Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.